AnnMarie Eldon

yet another lhunch

and after the dead bits have blown
tears become nutrient become live
again when I could bear
to bear your photograph and skies
perhaps noticeable it would be no
fingertip musicalities tongues
masquerading as other tools
but all the flowers
gave apologies not even
proffered but that you
mitigated even your
excuses as if
you never
...
and I am after all mad
and in bed trying to go over stumps
(one of your wives kept a sanity notebook)
pulling up the roots of your logic your lies
grow to proportionate certainties this
your only consistent contribution
I said it as an aside I know
your eyes thus
sell it

metabletica

we cannot open a can of worms
yet its contents shall eat us
when we die

crawl into our eyes nought
but food for thoughts
and ought I to

trust you who
each time
takes lid
takes lie
makes

cry

"Trying to Get Big Enough to Battle Wal-Mart"
New York Times November 18^th 2004

While United States forces mount the final military operations to pacify Fallujah, the people of the devastated city have taken refuge in outlying towns, many of them huddled in misery, without adequate food, water, medicine and shelter.

More than 80 per cent of the population of 300,000 are living in nearby towns or in Baghdad. The US military has barred aid convoys from Fallujah, insisting they have enough resources to look after the remaining civilians. But the few who have ventured to the distribution centres risk getting caught in crossfire.

Aid organisations say 102,000 Fallujah refugees are in Amiriyah, 50,000 are in Baghdad; about 21,600 are in Karma, 18,000 are in Nieamiyah and 12,000 are in Habbaniyah. Unicef and the aid groups say Amiriyah, an industrial centre, suffers from a serious lack of shelter, and Habbaniyah, formerly a tourist resort, has a severe shortage of clean water.

A 33-year-old photographer for Associated Press, who escaped the city during the fighting, said: "I decided to swim the river. But I changed my mind after seeing US helicopters firing and killing people who tried to cross. I saw a family of five shot dead. I helped bury a man by the river bank with my own hands."

He had planned to stay in Fallujah to cover the fighting. But he said he fled after feeling he was in grave danger. "US soldiers began to open fire on the houses, so I decided it was very dangerous to stay," he said. "Destruction was everywhere. I saw people dead in the streets, the wounded were bleeding and there was no one to help them."

One woman said: "I left four of my sons behind. They had said they would join me here if the situation became worse. I do not know how much worse it can get."
The Independent Novemeber 18^th 2004

metabletica

the haemorrhaging woman was pushed forward
by the crowd

the theologian interprets that this is
as not so

his student congrues the woman
becomes simply part of

whoever
happens to be around

peek viewing

drink it you shit
but then you like it
and it's not liking that this is about
but
pain then tying a brick to each ovary
by nylon thread and letting them dangle
between your legs once a month
bruising your thighs the
least of
it
head skull-empty, banging and arranged, all
neatly arranged – the murders; not with weapons
but bear hands which could one night as a dream-would reach
in and pull viscera freefree and hang any bit
of any choicest 'n tree on the tree across
the street in the park the ravens
picking little juicy bits
and being able to
command!
them
oh go see him he looks like he could use a bitablood up him
go spit that tasty morsel of deadman's tit in his eye
the simply being able to destroy
with bare hands
from gut out
to go public
and lick back with relish
ooh you gorgeous bombblasterers-you, you semen smelling
concrete smashers you responsible for Palestinian rubble
and Iraqi blackholed vice ooh look come
scent my uterus get hard for me
Little Men
and there there go birdies go
go spit gangrened flesh at them
let them hear telepathy saying g g:
"This flesh she drew from your own babies' bellies
with her bare hands whilst they lay alive and screeching"
and she's menstruating so knew not how to stop herself
but fed it to us us fancy us in a mere social whirling
in the tree tops chanting horse chestnuts
thwutt!
A man stops for a brief instant and thinks he needs
a cigarette
decides he needs to piss
- ah - too late
a witch is squatting before him pulling her vulva apart
and his newly born's intestines are dripping from her
and he smells (vomits) hell and hell it was nothing to do
with him honestly he was just earning a crust
and then these birds came
like fucking Hitchcock's
and ate from her hole
and caw-caw'd
and flew over head
and shat it
down upon him The Heavens raining hate
and him simply a passer                       by

metabletica

we measure the heart in beats per minute
yet we cannot count
the vote

since when did what we crossed
have it, won or lost? it's

how we touch not the amount

stand - but to account

blocks n personal

Of what use to me that Ashcroft is to quit
the top justice post after a tumultuous tenure
and Evans is to go too?

This junk is a leftover from my American
days.

Neither do I want his moissonite fakery
from off the Shopping Channel
as if I am his mother about

to flash herself on a cruise.
I can smell his lies

through the wireless absence his touching
of boys his dissembling his chemical promises
turning to vows if I'd let them.

I have a rectocele and a cystocele caused by
birthing a ten and a half pounder over eleven
years ago.

For this I have to use Tampax Compak tampons
(which come in plastic not cardboard tubes)
as the collapsible ones won't go

up. These alleviate me of my concern for trees:
I don't know if the unusables are made with
paper from sustainable forests

and being an avid recycler I worry about
endless little cylinders filling my
South Oxfordshire District Council green box.

So... I read that the American Attorney General
made a hand-written letter of resignation.
I'm sure this makes a difference.

Meanwhile my vagina is the cause
of a certain sort of chain reactive anxiety
and HRT will ensure this lasts well into
my ninetieth year...

Unlike the new Administration
I mustn't flush the remains
yet perhaps the headlines could
lead to some useful clue
after all -

that I am not cavernous but collapsing
inwards goes against Hubble's Law
and at least has me identify
with part of the small print:
"The demands of justice are both
rewarding and depleting."

I am emptying my life of him as he
emptied his of me for years my phone
available to the French man their Paris oysters
emailed details whilst I was hungry and on benefits.

Almost welded to someone who could bring
four ready meals to my fridge and take home three.
We shared Waitrose Meatballs in Gravy
at a distance and it was his testimony for
'being together yet apart'

The Chinese Lanterns growing wild in the public car park
verge warned me of four more years-of-this as he forgot the fiver
for the petrol and feigned concern over a puddle.

I scrubbed up real good for his fancy college bash
but it never occurred to him his future wife was dressed
head to foot in Oxfam and might
have liked a dress bought
out of dead ma's
money.

Back at his quasi-family he projects his fellow residents
as passive-aggressives and edits me
yet again.
Probably obsequious with some other poor pre-damaged woman...

What chance a real family with flesh and blood
children?

At best a chest stained semen.
At worst an AIDS test.
(To a writer it's all grist for the mill)

I could settle for less.
I could block the New York Times
and get a life.

Trying To Put An End To It

"Bickering Iraqis Strive to Build Voting Coalition"
The New York Times
Sunday November 7^th 2004

My kids were at it in the other room.
I'd been in once to stop them but

they kept going on and on and on. I
got the biggest piece of machinery I

could think of – the lawn mower
and hauled it into the house. It

was a struggle, so huge, not really
designed for indoor use at all. I

ploughed straight across my carpet
and on through to where they were still

spittin'. This time they looked up, guilty, well
obviously trying to hide something but

nope, I was determined. I had the thing running
at full speed so at first they
                                       scattered

but I mowed 'em down went right over 'em
smashing toys ripping clothes bodies lost it called

to the neighbours to help me who crowded
round musta broke in the front door bringing

their own more kids there was screaming
blood dust sparks everything flying

dying brutal stinking gore up the walls
and those that hadn't come with chainsaws

or electric drills simply stomped
and swore no remorse no scheme

for anything no planning what to do
next how to clean up this mess

and it was all destruction
awesome! some kind

of intermittent peace some sniggering
but at least them kids quit

bickering

Four

seasons hotels and resorts BBC radio spiritual laws color
theorem the agreements: a practical guide to personal
freedom ...walls eight windows temperaments: idealists,
rationals, artisans, guardians, corners weddings and a

funeral rooms (1995) freedoms, Franklin Roosevelt legs
and a tail the rule of gates winds society arithmetic gang
of directions jeep parts/accessories Apollo peaks the fab
noble truths quarters interfaith sanctuary types of symmetry

in the plane dimensions tops th. birthday letter word centuries
of British American Relations connect Ireland's provinces
ethical issues of the information age lakes ice yacht club
Aristotle's causes enneagram type Charles S. Peirce's denials

winged dinosaur's found in China basic ontologies of semantic
interpretation tones and downtrend: a preliminary report
on pitch realization in Mambila language medieval
humours sight transmission manager reasons to be

happy about internet plagarism nations league big
ones personality preferences men and a dog ball
juggling contest mortality rates in major cancers
words to improve user research yogas in Tibetan

Buddhism TS Eliot Quartets more years of Bush billion
dollars actual monthly cost of US military presence in
Iraq according to Secretary of Defence Rumsfeld in 200
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